Hi, I’m Wayne Coyne. My only enemy is Negative Thoughts.

These bubbles are negative thoughts, and I am blowing them away.

These bubbles are negative thoughts, and I am blowing them away.

You can take offense to any number of things that have been circulating with Wayne Coyne and The Flaming Lips lately. Does the Native American headdress chap your ass? How about his public misogyny battle with Erykah Badu? Or his firing Kliph Scurlock? Sure, any of that. You might even just hate his music and find his aesthetic offensive. That’s fine. He doesn’t care. He doesn’t have to, because he makes Scrooge McDuck swimming-pool money off of MUSIC.

But the thing that is actually offensive to me is the thing that offends me about most artists right now: they say they hate “negative thoughts.” Jesus. I get that you probably don’t want to spend most of your time hating things, but the elimination of negative thoughts from every facet of your life would turn you into some kind of noodle-dancing, ecstasy-poppy weirdo with a lot of unnecessary glitt—wait…Oh, I get it now.

So when Coyne apologizes for the stupid shit he’s done or said—which is fine, because people make mistakes and then hopefully learn lessons—it just sucks that he’s also not really saying anything at all, because any apology of substance would also have to acknowledge that there are negative things in the world and that we—all of us, even good people—can be capable of some seriously negative thoughts. Not just negative like hey you’re bumming me out, but negative in their impact like I’d rather not address anything too important or take a stance on something even though people seriously listen to what I say so what i say is probably important to them. With Coyne, I kind of just stopped caring, but it still seems like a pervasive thing in our culture to not care too much because it’ll allow those pesky negative thoughts into your life, and then all your parties would have to end.

Also, there have to be better wars out there to fight that aren’t against negative thoughts. I mean, how often do positive-thought genocides get written about in the history books?

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